Pros: It feels right- have you ever had this feeling just because you were with someone- everything in the world was right, nothing could go wrong, you could take on and fix anything that happened. That's the way I feel when I'm with him. We have the same long term goals- we both want the whole 2.5 kids (except he wants 4 boys because I am supposed to control this) white picket fence (when I told him this he took it literally) and golden retriever (well, lab). We would be comfortable- basically financially, it won't be a 26 room mansion, but it would be a nice house. He loves to cuddle- he does, and we fit perfectly together. He has a great body- he isn't fat, he wouldn't win Mr. America, but he is def better than most others. And he's just taller than me, I like being able to look in other peoples eyes. He worries about me- he's constantly asking how I am. Last time we talked I had lost my appetite, and at a little over 100 pounds I can't afford that. So last week he actually asked how I was eating. He used to mostly care about getting me off- it's about me, but it's more about him sometimes. It used to always be me first, then this past fall he would roll over, go at it, and that be it. Based on recent texts he just wants it to be good for me. He held and kissed me in front of his friends- When we were together he did this. Of course only one of his friends knew about me this past fall, and this was one I had never met before, and didn't know our history I don't think. His friends I don't think liked me much. Very horny- just like me!
Cons: He never treated me like I was special- I always just felt like another girl, never bought me presents, never took me out, but never had any money. I never woke up with him looking at me- I've always wanted this, just to feel beautiful bc he just wanted to look at me. I did catch him just looking at me the weekend he told me he was still in love with me, i liked that. He never watched the movies he said he would- He told me he would watch Sweet Home Alabama, one of my fav movies. It was on tv for an entire weekend, and he told me he was excited (or he said if your excited I'm excited) but he never came to watch it with me. he only did anything really special once- the day he asked me out he took me to dinner in asheville, then shopping, then on the park way and asked me out. But he had no money. He took me shopping on his bday, because he said he likes shopping with me, I have a good sense of taste. And he bought me the license plate. Never done that for me! He broke up wiht me as soon as things went downhill- I keep hoping things would have been diff both times if we were in the same area. I paid for a movie I didn't want to see on my bday weekend! yeah, this is inexcusible, but at least the second time he dragged me to a movie I didnt want to see (a scary movie, I didn't want most of it, I don't like jumpy movies (quarentine)) he did pay for it. he never wanted to hang out with my friends- that will have to change. He never watned to do what I wanted to do out- he never had any money. Hopefully that will change. He used to order me around- what? I think I'm referring to a weekend he told me to go get him a beer a few times, a few hours before he kept asking if I needed water, and a night that same weekend he asked if he wanted him to bring me something when I said I was hungry. Or the time he told me to stop leaning on the banister, I was drunk and took offense. Or I could be blocking something out. He doesn't give me my independence- I think the banister thing. And he used to say I had to be a housewife. I want to be a housewife, because I like to run errands and take care of people and I like to cook and clean and all those little housewify things. But I don't want to be made to do something, that would make it not fun. He didn't ask about my spots- I had a few moles removed for biopsy and out of 5 I have had to have 2 surgeries to get more tissue removed. I inherited my fathers skin. But I hadn't had surgery yet, just biopsies and he never asked about the sudden scabs on my backa nd chest.
I did read about how he used to treat me. How he used call me my love, this was a few days before he told me he loved me. How he used to tell me I was his priority one. All of these things that i have myself convinced will happen again once we are in the same area for a significant amount of time again. Convinced!!!!!
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