here's what I was trying to say last night

Basically, I miss sex with Sam. And my feelings have dissipated (while still there) to where they were last fall when we first started back. When I was ok without a relationship, and with him being with Sarah, with just sex. With just a sexual relationship. 

Plus: I know he developed feelings for me last time. The only way he'll see me is if I have sex with him. He won't drive down to Raleigh just to see me, he doesn't have feelings for me so he has no reason to. But if he spends time with me, and I give him what he wants, and he realizes I can give him everything he wants, I'll get him back.

Minus: He does have a gf. I'm afraid he will cheat, and I will want him so bad that I will be ok with it. There is that phrase, once a cheater, always a cheater. But if I am the best he's ever had, why would he ever need to cheat on me. He may or may not cheat on his current gf to get the best sex he's ever had again. But who knows if he will even cheat.

I'd even be willing to move to Charlotte once my lease is up, and by that point I would have good standing with Target. I have been told that I am doing so well that I could do anything with Target, so I may be able to get any job. And Sam would probably be willing to help me out, if I give him sex, which I would love to. I love Charlotte, and that's where his job is. 

Only time will tell!

But for tonight, I'm getting drinks with this guy who I went to hs with. What should I wear!!!!! All my cute/casual shirts can't be worn when it's below 60 degrees outside! :-(