My kitchen

My continuation of Pinterest. For this one I want your opinion! I'm redoing my kitchen based on this design:

I love these dishes and have already gotten 6 of them off of RueLaLa. I'm going to hang three of them on the wall. What's stopping me and giving me problems is the color. I have great granite countertops and I don't have enough money to replace them, and I don't want to paint them. I want to paint everything white, maybe a light blue, but in my mind the color clashes. Here are some photos that I think look good. What do you think? And one is a bathroom, just look at the colors.

This one is a great example of the white beside the granite countertops.

And this one has a great shade of blue in it beside the granite countertops.

If I do paint the walls white, I might do a stencil. I found a set of stencils that would match the plates.

I have one more set of photos that I'll post soon!

My New Obsession

In the past, when I saw a picture of an idea I liked I printed it out. Once I had it in my hands I was not going to loose it (but then I'd step on it or spill something on it and I'd toss it, never to find the picture again). Then recently I began saving them in my photo app, but I'd usually never go back and look at them again.

A few weeks ago I discovered Pinterest, a social networking website involving "pinning" photos for others to see and also "pin." Pinning them puts them into various folders you create, which you categorize into standard folders. Once a member, one can follow whomever one wants, look at thousands of folders, and get ideas on anything from outfits to home decor, new products to traveling.

Here are some pins I would like to share:

This is a great example of what it means to be on Pinterest. Pinterest has all kinds of photos on it, and it is impossible to get on without finding 50 things you want to do, and then even more impossible to ever get off again.

I had been looking for this hairstyle forever and was so excited when I found it. I have lived in North Carolina all my life and couldn't imagine calling anywhere else my home. Part of being a Southern Belle is always looking ones best, which includes ones hair. There are all kinds of hair and make up tutorials that link to various blogs all over Pinterest, it's impossible to not find the perfect look for you.

I love to travel and there are all kinds of amazing photos to give me ideas on my next destination. This is a photo of the tallest church in the world. It is in Ulm, Germany. I actually stayed in Ulm for 2 weeks when I was 15 and too young to fully appreciate the opportunity. This is the town where Albert Einstein was born, although you wouldn't know it because Germany disowned him when he allied with the Allies during WWII. I also had never seen meat sold the way it was here. In America we don't see what the animal actually looks like except for fish. In most other countries they sell parts of the animals whole in the city market.

This is an example of one of many great ideas I have found on the website. Being more of a killer than a grower of plants I can take all the advice I can get. I'll need to go out and buy some generic diapers and see if this works!

A photo of a craft project someone completed and posted. There are all kinds of holiday ideas and links to tutorials on creating holiday decor. It is so much cheaper to buy a few supplies and create it than to go to Pottery Barn or Pier One. And this way you can personalize it. I'm showing this one because I actually recreated it! I will post photos soon!

I think that's enough photos of now. I hope you enjoyed these pics! I'll post some pics of kitchen inspiration soon!

Can't wait till Charlotte!

So I talked to him yesterday. I texted him a lot, trying to get him to talk to me. And then I told him not to make me mad or I may tell her. Which I knew would get him. So I apologized. Turns out he sprained his ankle playing basketball and lost his phone last week.

I told him I was would like to hear from him soon, which I thought would be Wednesday, because he had work to do till then.

About an hour later he texted me, talking about how stressed he was. So I told him a story to help him release his stress. And then another. 

Then I told him I was worried about him getting stressed out about cheating. 

Sam: I'm not sure

Me: Do u want to stop?

Sam: Yeh I should. Have you been talking to anyone?

Why would he ask that? Why would he say he should stop, and in the same text ask if I'm seeing anyone? 

He's said he's really gonna try to stay in Charlotte. 

Nothing for a week

So I haven't heard from him for a week. And I'm not bothered by it, at least not very much. I began a pill for depression and anxiety this week, with bad side effects. The dizziness and nausea are getting better, but I still have nervousness for a few hours after I take it. It's not quite an anxiety attack, although I am close right now, but my whole body is just kind of tense, I can't stop clenching my jaw. I'm seeing my psychiatrist again Monday, I'll talk to her then.

Anyway, so here is why I am concerned. I saw on Amanda's away message this past weekend that she was staying in taking care of her baby- either Sam or her dog. And nothing in reference to it since, in fact besides a photo post on her Facebook, there has been no activity, she hasn't even been online for a few days. But I'm sure if there was something seriously wrong with Sam she would have posted something.

Also, at the beginning of our last convo he said he came up to my hotel thinking it would happen, and that he doesn't hold it against me.

Also, with the vacation to Beaufort I said that I have no one to go with and he asked when I wanted to go. I do think he would like it. But he has a gf still. 

Anyway, back to studying so that I can pass this exam and move to Charlotte! Two weeks and 2 days until he graduates, and I see him soon after! 

Two things to say to him

So I got bored last night and read through our most recent conversation, a very sexual one. And before it turned to sexual, which he brought up, well here's how it went:

I tell him I'm still dating...

Me: I'm trying to get over u, bc u really don't seem to want to be with me. But everyone either parties or is married (the truth).

Him: You still moving to Charlotte?

Me: Yes. I have friends there. Travis (a friend from college) knows everyone. While I'd like to think wed get together, I doubt it, so I have opportunities.

Him: That one place is right down the road from me (I looked at one complex near him).

Me: Well u have a gf, and ga. So what's the point? I'm gonna get a job then find a place. I didn't like it anyway.

Him: I'll still talk to you.

Then I ask him if he came up to my hotel thinking that would happen and he said he thought it might and then I asked if he thought they would last and he said he didn't know.

But next time I go down I'm going to tell him I want to look at apartments, but I can't because I don't know where I'll work. He'll probably tell me to just look in North Charlotte and I'll ask him why he wants me to move there so much. 

The other convo I want to have with him is about my vacation. I told him before that that I just needed a vacation and I told him about Beaufort, where I want to go. He asked when I wanted to go, just polite convo. But I'm gonna bring it up again. Of course there is no way we would go if he still had a gf, but I really do think he would like the town. It's a very slow town. I want to go horseback riding, which he told me he used to do when his family had horses. And I want to go parasailing. It's a town where you just kinda walk down the street and window shop. Well see! I found a great little bed and breakfast, and I have enough money already saved up for 1 night. We'll see! 

so Sam and I texted in our own special little way again yesturday. And he really seems to want me in Charlotte, in North Charlotte, where he lives. He was really talking about a complex I looked at. And I told him I've been dating (fine, I lied), but I probably will start a physical thing with Jeremy. We talked about that last night. Can't wait to be in Charlotte though. He said he doesn't know if him and Amanda will make it. 

I also decided what I will get him for graduation- a Chevy key ring with manlier than anything engraved on the back. Because of when I told him that truck is manlier than chest hair.

Working with crazy bitch today... all day... then Sunglass hut. Long day, can't wait for a vacation! 

I hope things haven't changed

So I hope things haven't changed between Sam and I since we slept together. We had fun in the IKEA parking lot, it didn't feel awkward, at least not on my side. And I tend to look for awkward. 

But I have hardly talked to him since. I asked him to talk to me on my way out to my car on Friday, and after saying I would try anyway he said he was busy. I asked again on Saturday with no reply. I had a feeling I shouldn't try again, and I was right, apparently she had dinner with his family.

But I have never seen him freak out like that. I am worried about him. I am worried he'll stress out again and she'll figure it out. I just don't want him to get hurt. But I am hoping the guilt will get to him and he will break up with her, and he will get with me. 

But I am going to text him tomorrow afternoon, and just tell him that I am worried about him, I have never seen him like that. Also that he didn't have to worry about me. I won't tell her, and my perception of his feelings for me haven't changed. Also that I hope that still feels comfortable talking to me, that I am still here for him in any way he needs, and that I still need him to be my friend. And also that I am not only moving to Charlotte for him. My other reasons are important enough that even if he ended up in Georgia, I would still come to Charlotte this summer. But that I hope he would stay in Charlotte, that I still think it is in his best interest. And I think I'd also request that he unblock me. That e-mail is outdated, and not checked often. And that it would be nice to be able to send him messages on facebook, but that I would feel better not being friends with him, that I actually think it would be a better idea. 

This is a lot... should I e-mail this? I just did.